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2015: A Year in Review

December 20, 2015

As we reach the fag end days of 2015, it is time to over indulge, be merry and share some artery clogging treats with our loved ones. It is also a time to take stock and reflect on what has been a tumultuous and at times dispiritingly confusing year. Welcome to our Christmas circular review […]

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The Inconvenient Truth of Tory Britain

October 15, 2015

Credit where credit is due. The Tories are an election winning machine. They have reduced their former coalition partners, the Lib Dems to a parliamentary rump, and they have reduced UKIP to the margins and they have reduced Labour to infighting and potential civil war. But that is as far as I am willing to […]

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Tories, Blairites and the “Centre-Ground” Myth

October 7, 2015

It is all about narrative. The current narrative within British politics is that the Tory Party has captured the “centre ground” of politics, a place vacated by Labour’s “lurch to the left.” It is yet another example of a narrative and trap being set by Tories and right wing commentators to hoodwink the public into […]

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So what will Osborne’s ‘One Nation’ look like?

July 9, 2015

The phrase made me want to hurl: ‘One Nation’. In Tory world that is supposed to make you a caring honourable person, someone who really cares about his fellow man, someone who is actually kind and gentle and genuinely ‘on your side.’ They have no idea. As Charlie said earlier, the ‘living wage’ is a […]

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Something About England: Welcome to the Tory Reich

July 9, 2015

They say immigrants steal the hubcaps Of respected gentlemen They say it would be wine an’ roses If England were for Englishmen again There was masters an’ servants an’ servants an’ dogs They taught you how to touch your cap But through strikes an’ famine an’ war an’ peace England never closed this gap The […]

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Trainspotting Guide to the Tories

June 9, 2015

Since the Tories won the election, I have felt angry, saddened and disheartened by the consistently bad choices that voters (predominantly in the South of England) make. I have come to the conclusion that the South of England is locked into the mindset of perpetual right-wing ideology and brainwashed by a cabal of political elite, […]

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Welcome to the Tory Vision of Orwellian Britain

May 13, 2015

According to media reports, David Cameron is going to tell his National Security Council this as he announces plans to crack down on radicalisation:- “For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens: as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone. It’s often meant we have […]

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Election Panic – The Tories Have Only Themselves to Blame

April 22, 2015

Panic in Whitehall. Panic in the Shires. Panic on Fleet Street. Panic at Tory HQ. Panic in The City. The election campaign is not going according to plan, and all those creatures and institutions connected together in Toryland are in danger of losing the plot. The last throw of the dice is to hurl more […]

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Week 15: Villain – Michael Fallon

April 13, 2015

This week’s villain award goes to the Tory Defence Secretary, Michael Fallon, for attacking Ed Miliband over Britain’s Trident nuclear deterrent and making the attack less about policy and more about a grubby personal slandering. Fallon, wrote in The Times that Miliband “stabbed his own brother in the back to become Labour leader. Now he […]

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Week 15: Prat – The Conservative Party

April 12, 2015

This week’s Prat of the Week Award goes to the Conservative Party for their ugly election strategy of demonising any clear and present dangers to their election success, and in particular, their personal attacks on Ed Miliband. They also deserve the award for a spectacularly useless election campaign, with embarrassing photocalls and being all over […]

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Tories, Media & Big Business: All In It Together

April 2, 2015

What a surprise. 100 business leaders have signed a letter to the Telegraph offering support to the Tories whilst criticising Labour’s economic credentials. In other news: Bears shit in the woods and the Pope is Catholic. This tactic happens at every election or referendum campaign. Fat cats want the Tories to win to protect their […]

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Project Fear: The Sequel – Directed by The Tories

March 10, 2015

Panic on the streets of Westminster. You can almost hear the screams of panic coming down the corridors of power within the Westminster establishment and Fleet Street. Whisper it…The Scots are coming. Last week, Lord Ashcroft produced a series of constituency polls showing a surge of support to the SNP. The Ashcroft findings showed that […]

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Week 1: Prat – The Conservative Party

January 5, 2015

After depressing ourselves by awarding Ed Miliband our Prat of the Year award, it is the Tories that win our first Prat of the Week award of 2015. (Ah, much more satisfying!) So, here we are: 2015 – general election year. Expect the parties to release poster after poster, most of which you will only […]

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Dismantling the public sector: The Conservative economic con-trick

November 17, 2014

George Osborne and David Cameron are the most pathetic (but less funny) double act since Waldorf and Statler. These two wealthy-beyond-belief, born-to-rule idiots think that the public sector is responsible for the UK budget deficit. So, they have frozen public sector pay and will ravage essential core community based services within the public sector, and […]

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Beyond Satire: The Tories Rebrand as The Workers’ Party

February 25, 2014

The Tories are to announce that they will now describe themselves as the “Workers’ Party.” – This is not satire. This is really happening. Grant Shapps, the party chairman, will announce alongside Sir John Major, the former champion of the “classless society“, that the Tories are now determined to show they want to spread privilege […]

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Week 5: Villain – Owen Paterson

February 2, 2014

This week’s villain award goes to Environment Secretary Owen Paterson for his dithering response to the Somerset floods and of his failure to take the flooding crisis seriously. Owen Paterson has form as a serial ditherer. His response (or lack of) to the horse meat scandal, badger culling (“the badgers moved the goalposts” has to […]

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Boris Johnson turns into Gordon Gekko

November 28, 2013

I have always been troubled by Boris Johnson. I have always suspected that underneath that Richard Curtis character posh boy buffoonery lies a man with a huge sense of entitlement, supreme ignorance and dubious character. Yesterday, Boris Johnson proved my point once again. This time, he ripped off his comedy face and turned into Gordon […]

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Week 47: Villain – David Cameron

November 24, 2013

This week’s villain of the week award for the second week running goes to David Cameron for allegedly telling his aides in Downing Street to “get rid of all the green crap” from energy bills to help being down the costs. So much for the huskies. Remember those bygone days of yore when David Cameron […]

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The Tories reveal new advertising campaign

November 19, 2013
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Tory website screenwipe

November 14, 2013

The Conservative Party have apparently wiped all their pre-election pledges from their website. The Conservatives have deleted every article, speech and press release released before the last election from their website. They can run, but they can’t hide. Here is a reminder of what they pledged…

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Bedroom Tax vote: What is the point of parliament?

November 14, 2013

The government defeated Labour’s motion to challenge the Tories Bedroom Tax by 252 votes to 226, a majority of 26. Labour MPs have been strongly criticised after the analysis of voting lists revealed that 47 were absent from the Commons at the time of the vote. Labour Party whips have since responsed by stating: “We […]

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David Cameron: starving the state and feeding the fat cats

November 12, 2013

Every picture tells a story. “Shrink the state!” – David Cameron makes speech about having to make do with less. Dressed in a tuxedo and white tie. At a massive banquet. Next to a golden throne. The whole thing is dripping in foie gras soaked irony. Last night, David Cameron delivered a speech at the […]

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Where have all our great politicians gone?

November 5, 2013

“He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” George Bernard Shaw The first sign of becoming a grumpy old man is to think that everything was better in the past. If that is the case, then in terms of politics, I am a fully paid up member of […]

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Tory myth busting: “Cleaning up Labour’s mess”

October 29, 2013

“The mess we inherited” “We’re having to clean up Labour’s mess” “We are making tough decisions to fix the country” “We’re all in this together” This Tory-led and Lib Dem nodding dog soundbite tactic has been in place since they have been in government and has continued, unbroken and to the point of listening to […]

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The Tory Party by Charlie Brooker

October 29, 2013
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Week 43: Prat – Grant Shapps

October 27, 2013

This week’s prat award goes to Conservative party chairman, Grant Shapps for saying that the BBC could face a cut in the TV licence fee or have to share it with other broadcasters unless it rebuilds public trust. Grant Shapps stated that the BBC must become “more transparent” and change its “culture of secrecy“. Seriously […]

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Week 41: Prat – Owen Paterson

October 13, 2013

This week’s prat of the week award goes to Environment Secretary Owen Paterson for stating that the failure to reach government badger cull targets was due to badgers moving the goalposts. A pilot badger cull in west Somerset is likely to be extended after the government missed their target to kill 70 per cent of […]

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Hating the Tory Party

October 3, 2013

The word “hate” is nasty old word. This week it has become a politically toxic buzzword. As the fall out continues over the Daily Mail’s predictably odious articles about Ralph Miliband – “the man who hated Britain” – it provoked me into thinking about what I hate in life. There are a few day-to-day petty […]

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Neoliberal Triangulation R.I.P.

September 30, 2013

Triangulation was first used by Bill Clinton’s chief political advisor Dick Morris as a way to describe his strategy for getting Clinton reelected in the 1996 presidential election. Morris articulated a set of policies that were different from the traditional policies of the Democratic Party – with a model hybrid of right-wing economic and left-wing […]

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Lobbying Bill: Welcome to the Banana Republic of Britain

September 4, 2013

The coalition’s lobbying reforms cleared their first parliamentary hurdle on Tuesday despite justifiable concerns that the legislation will compromise charities, trade unions and campaign groups while failing to address corporate lobbying. The legislation was given its second reading in the Commons, by 309 votes to 247. So, as the government try to smuggle through the […]

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