Andy Murray: Bang Goes the Knighthood

by Charlie_East_West on December 30, 2013

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In 2013, Andy Murray became the first British man to win the men’s singles title at Wimbledon for 77 years. It was one of the all time great British sporting achievements. Murray has now won Wimbledon, the US Open and the Olympics. Soon after winning Wimbledon, Downing Street stated that it was a ‘safe bet’ that they would be recommmending Murray for a Knighthood in the New Year’s Honours List.

So what the hell happened? It has been reported that Andy Murray is to be snubbed in the New Year’s Honours List because of petty protocol. Murray received an OBE this Summer, and the powers that be now stuffily consider that it is too soon for Murray to also receive a well deserved Knighthood.

This is bloody ridiculous jumped up jobsworthy mandarin behaviour at its worst. I can imagine the following conversation took place amongst the honours committee flunkies:-

Flunky A: “So there we have it. A bunch of fat cat nonentities on our Knighthood list. Perfect. Any other business, chaps?”
Flunky B: “What about Andy Murray? He won Wimbledon. No one has done that since before we taught the Germans another lesson.
Flunky A: “Ah, young Murray….what to do about young Murray…?”
Flunky C: “Has he decided if he is British or Scottish yet?
Flunky D: “I think he remains on the fence on that one.
Flunky C: “Does he support Scottish Independence?”
Flunky D: “I think he is sitting on the fence over that one as well. Although, that fat oik Salmond was waving a Saltire in the Royal Box when Murray won. Deeply suspicious behaviour.”
Flunky A: “I tend to agree. Murray is not really one of us. It was a travesty he won Wimbledon. He is from Chilly-Jockoland rather than from Godalming in Surrey.
Flunky B: “Hold on. I think he lives in Surrey now…and he jets off to Miami for a spot of winter sun – so he has become like us.”
Flunky A: “No. He is an imposter. He takes one of our leafy red bricked Tudor houses in Surrey and steals our beloved Wimbledon trophy for Alex Salmond to crow at.”
Flunky D: “Exactly. Andy Murray should know his place.”
Flunky A: “Agreed. Andy Murray is black balled for a Knighthood. Any other recommendations for a sporting Knighthood in the New Year’s Honours List?”
Everyone: “Tim Henman.”
Flunky A: “Perfect solution. Happy New Year, Gentlemen.”

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Eddie Kaye December 30, 2013 at 3:33 pm

The whole honours thing is a tricky one for me Charlie. I am of the opinion that giving them for winning something (such as Wimbledon, an Olympic Gold Medal, the World Cup, Ashes etc) is not wholly appropriate – after all, these achievements are an honour in themselves. A range of victories and raising the profile of their game/ club/ national side etc over a career I have no quarm with. IMO it all stems from a bit of a fuss being kicked up that it took so long to honour all the England ’66 winning team. An OBE or MBE is one thing (including Paul Collingwood for 18 runs and a catch in ’05), but save the big one for retirement, or evidence of achievement or contribution outside their spoting field.

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George_East December 30, 2013 at 3:42 pm

Isn’t the difficulty with that though Eddy, that we’ve moved to a position where it is precisely for sporting achievement that such awards are given. Once that is the principle (see Bradley Wiggins) then it is hard to see what possible justification there is for not giving one to say Andy Murray or Mo Farrah. The suspicion then becomes it is because their faces don’t fit.
In my ideal world we’d scrap the whole system – which is another archaic, venal and corrupt leftover from an imperial past. But if we are going to have such a system then it needs to be applied consistently. Fat chance, I know.

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Eddie Kaye December 30, 2013 at 4:38 pm

Agreed. The trouble is not that we have honours (legion d’honeur, order of lenin anyone)?. The issue is it is steeped in with monarchy, empire, privilege and status. There needs to be some sort of formula for sporting achievement.

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