Week 38: Prat – Godfrey Bloom

by Ray_North on September 23, 2013

prat_iconThis week’s Prat of the Week Award goes to the Euro Sceptic Politician Godfrey Bloom.

Take a bow son. What a performance. Absolutely sublime. It was as though Godfrey Bloom woke up on the morning of the 20th September and decided that he was going to make it his aim of the day to win the coveted Allthatsleft Prat of the Week award, and my god did he achieve. In a performance of world class pratdom – this week he made the job of our awarding committee very easy.

In truth, none of us should be too surprised by Bloom’s performance – he’s got everything. First, his name – Godfrey Bloom, wonderful, the prat potential is there simply by virtue of the fact that he’s called Godfrey.

But, of course, just being called Godfrey doesn’t make someone a prat – they’ve got to earn that, and Godfrey has got every move in the book – there’s his look, a kind of cross bank manager with a scowl that sums up the pain of a decaying nation.

And, then there’s his pedigree – a long history of prattish nonsense: there’s his previous utterances on woman’s rights – “no self-respecting small businessman with a brain in the right place would ever employ a lady of child-bearing age.”

And his views on Greenpeace, whom he called fascists.

But despite this, he has managed to become an elected politician in the European Parliament and the person responsible for UKIP’s economic policy, which, given their rise in fortunes, must mean that he has been successful, and he was – right up until last Thursday, when, during UKIP’s Autumn Conference, he decided to call women who don’t clean behind their fridges as sluts.

Genius.

But, it didn’t end there – outside the conference centre he was doorstepped by the C4 News journo Michael Crick who asked him why there were no ‘black faces’ on the front cover of the UKIP policy pamphlet – how would Godfrey react to this – an anodyne response about it not bearing any reflection on the UKIPs multi-national ethos perhaps, or maybe an acceptance that a mistake had been made and a pledge to sack the person responsible, er no. Upon being presented with the the sea of white faces on the front of the UKIP pamphlet, Godfrey decided to go ballistic with Crick, calling him a racist for even mentioning (yep, I didn’t understand that either), and then thwacking him over the head with the offending document. Leaving a bemused Crick with a much better story and his leader, the equally prattish, Nigel Farage with little choice but to withdraw the whip.

Tremendous. Performances of that class don’t come about very often. Godfrey – we doff our caps.

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