Ray North’s Predictions for 2013

by George_East on January 21, 2013

Crystal ball

This is a post by Ray North which was originally posted on 1 January 2013 but which was lost from the site during our recent difficulties.  It is not clear whether the post is complete and unfortunately all comments on the post and any graphics originally posted have been lost.

As is traditional, my crystal ball is on the table and the misty grey fug of confusion is clearing to reveal Ray North’s ten predictions for the coming year.

But, before I let you into the secrets of my crystal balls, let’s have a look at last year’s predictions – well, I predicted the reform of The Jam (alas no), Sir Steve Redgrave to light the Olympic flame (fair prediction I think, but still wrong), Bolt to win three gold medals but fail in an attempt to win a 4th 400m gold (hmm, part right, but still very wrong). I also predicted continued increases in unemployment (wrongish), civil unrest in the Eastern Europe (thankfully wrong), Boris to win the mayoralty (sadly right), more problems for the Eurozone (again sadly right), a defection by a Lib-Dem MP (amazingly wrong), more riots in London (wrong) and Man City to win the league (right).

So, here’s my predictions for the 2013.

10. Royal Baby Crazy

Assuming that everything goes well for Kate and Wills, I can’t possibly get this wrong – next summer the world will go mental for the new Royal baby. But, what will they call it, I want to make a massively left-field prediction like, Ravi or Shane or Jimmy, but, let’s face it, it’s likely to be Charles or Henry. Henry IXth, now there’s a thought.

9. Grant Shapps resignation I’ve got an inkling that the man sometimes known as Grant Shapps MP is going to do something that is a little bit daft – precipitating the usual backing, full support, withdrawal of backing, no support, sad resignation.

8. Alex Fergurson Retires

Old purple face will be 72 during the course of 2013, surely to goodness he’s got to have a bit of time with the Mrs at some point in his life.

7. Tony Blair’s come-back.

Probably some kind of Peerage, then, I can see Blair making a foray back into mainstream British politics – the stuff of nightmares as far as I’m concerned!

6. Rain.

Yep, tonnes of the stuff, coming down in whacking great steer rods for day after day after bloody gloomy day. Leading to a genuine debate about what actually is the point of Great Britain.

5. UKIP continued success.

I’m starting to really, really, really hate Nigel Farage – there were some old bastards campaigning for UKIP outside my post office the other week, and I went over to them and told them forcefully that if it wasn’t the EU, we wouldn’t have Borgen or The Killing. Sadly, they have their crap arguments fine-tuned and they’re putting the absolute shits up the Tories – they will continue to grow, and, with the right circumstances, they might even win a By-election.

4. USA to fall off the Fiscal Cliff,

Forcing everyone to cover their eyes as they wait for the world to come to an end, and then to peek out again, because, actually, the only repercussions of falling over the fiscal cliff, was that America would get up again, and continue to argue about it.

3. England to win the Ashes.

1-0 with the other four tests drawn after being interrupted by rain.

2. Mario Balotelli to end up in prison

Having been charged with some kind of weird offence like treason or crimes against humanity or killing a swan or something – I’m sure I’ll be wrong.

1. Triple Dip Recession.

A new phrase to attach to the coalition – triple dip recession! I hope I’m wrong about that as well

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Charlie_East_West April 8, 2013 at 11:38 am

How is that hopey-changey stuff working out for you, Ray?

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